Episode 01 - The Mechanic

[MADMarkyD93]

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Kings Of The Desert
Season: 01
Episode: 01
Written by: Mark Davison
Produced by: Moonstone Productions
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AGE RATING: 15+
CONTAINS: STRONG LANGUAGE
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Max: My name is Maxwell Cooper... though I'd prefer it if you call me Max. I HATE Maxwell, and Maxey... hell, I once even got called Maximillion. I hate that too. Anyway, I was born on March 27th 1977. Grew up in Archades, the one 'n' only. And this... erm, this...
Director: Is my story.
Max: Oh, of course... this is my story...





Max: This year was my final semester at SSU... that's Stalner State University for those who aren't in-with-the-know. I was studying literature, that was my dad's choice. I wanted to be like him 'n' be a mechanic but for some reason he wouldn't have any of it... but, I mean, what is there to learn exactly about WRITING!?... And with that in mind, I didn't bother wasting my time studying for a dead-end pursuit. I preferred my cars-buying, building, racing, then finally selling... rinse 'n' repeat.
Yoko: Still not going to class?
Max: Nope, haven't since I started here, not planning on starting now.
Yoko: Fine... but please, for me, don't go throwing your life away for... for THIS.
Max: Erm... "THIS"... IS my life. Got it?
Yoko: Not going to argue with you... see you when I get back.



Max: My childhood friend and my Uni roommate, Yoko, kept trying to convince me to go to class and "do something with my life." I didn't listen. I didn't want to. I never listened to anyone other than myself, and my dad... and I still don't.



Sammy: Woah! Looks like it musta' been some party... and I didn't even get an invite!
Costello: Glad to see you finally made it here.
Rico: Sorry Captain. Ever since Sammy lost his Escudo, he hasn't exactly been-on-the-ball with our "new wheels."



Sammy: I hate it! I can't chase anythin' down no more!



Rico: He's just upset 'cause a petty thief outran him earlier.
Sammy: Rico!
Costello: Samson, you're a good driver, and I'm not just saying that to be nice. If you can't catch someone, even in that Sigfrid, then no one can... Must've had a hell of a motor then.
Rico: He was on-foot.
Costello: Oh...



Yoko: So the final exam's are tomorrow.
Max: Yep.
Yoko: And you're STILL not studying.
Max: Never needed to. I haven't studied once this entire time 'n' I still made it to my finals, 3.4 GPA which isn't all that bad... considering it IS just writing. Besides, I don't see YOU studying either.
Yoko: Because I studied at breakfast this morning, and before class, AND in class, AND when I came back, AND again in half an hour until I go to bed.
Max: Fair play.
Yoko: And I'm working for a 4.0 GPA. My future is paved with gold, I know it. Yours... well, one day soon you'll see just how flawed your "plan for the future" is.
Max: ALRIGHT!... Look, just 'cause you're ol' Miss Goody-FUCKING-Two-Shoes don't mean that I gotta' follow your example. I live my OWN life. My way, my plan. GOT IT???
Yoko: ...... Ok.
Max: Good!



Sammy: Now looky here hotshot...
Suspect: Pfff... yeah?
Sammy: ... Like my watch?
Suspect: Uh-huh.
Sammy: ...... Like my shirt?
Suspect: Sure.
Sammy: Like my Sigfrid???



Suspect: (Laughs) No way... I mean, what the hell is that thing?
Sammy: IT'S MY CAR!
Suspect: Oh is that what it is?... Alright.
Sammy: If you co-operate... you can have this watch, this shirt... and... my girl. Here, this is a photo of her...



Suspect: She hot for sure...



Sammy: HOWEVER... If you DON'T co-operate...... I'll... give you my Sigfrid, an' there's nothin' you can do 'bout it!
Suspect: AH! AH! Alright already! Stop with this heartless torture!



Max: ...... Look, Yokes, I'm sorry I-
Yoko: Look, JUST... don't talk to me, alright? I don't care anymore! What you said actually hurt me. What is the matter with you? ... You never used to be like this... Good luck for tomorrow. You'll need it. After that, we don't have to speak to each other ever again.
Max: Fine, screw you then. Have a nice life. I hope we don't have to speak to each other ever again either!



Suspect: Hey wait!... What about my generous reward?
Sammy: Ha! You kiddin'? This shirt is... coverin' my embarassin' sunburn and that chick broke up with me over a week ago. Seems there ain't no love for the Sigfrid in this world... not that I care.



Suspect: Argh damn it, now I'm just a poor, price-on-his-head rat.
Sammy: Count yourself lucky! 'Least you're gettin' the easy way outta' this life. Me, look what I'm stuck with! Besides, I'm not even wearing a watch!



Sammy: Ha! An' people said I was stupid...



Sammy: OW! That bloody door!



Max: That was where my endless misfortune started. I so wasn't in the mood for that exam... as ever, but, after what happened with Yoko, I couldn't concentrate 'n' so I failed... terribly. So terrible in fact they wouldn't even let me go back to try the semester again... not that I wanted to but...



Deidre: Do you realise what you've done!? You've ruined your whole life! I'm disgraced at you! You should be ashamed of yourself for-
Max: Shut the FUCK UP will ya'!? You're not even my real mom! You're just a gold-diggin' slut who can't be bothered makin' anythin' for 'erself!
Ryan: Haha ee Max ya' can't say that!
Max: Shut it Rye.
Deidre: Go to your room young man! This is between me and your brother.
Max: Grrr…



Daryl: Somethin' wrong here?
Deidre: Are you stupid? Your son got kicked out from University!
Daryl: Yes Dee, I had noticed.
Deidre: Well!? What are you going to DO!?
Daryl: ... I'll have a word with 'im.
Deidre: You better do a hell of a lot more than that!
Daryl: (Sigh) Y-yeah sure, jus' give us a minute in private, will ya'?



Max: I was surprised at how my dad responded. He wasn't bothered 'bout any of it, in fact...
Daryl: This life, I know it ain't perfect. I mean, I flunked Uni 'n'all 'n' I couldn't be happier... maybe you CAN be like me after all.
Max: Thanks dad... but... what about the whore?
Daryl: Deidre?... I dunno...
Max: 'Least you didn't defend her.
Daryl: You're right, that's why. Here, take this...
Max: What is it?
Daryl: Directions.
Max: Where'm I goin'?
Daryl: Remember that town I used to speak of...?
Max: He gave me directions to this old town in Marvega, some abandoned place out in the desert he used to live in when my grandfather worked in the mines there 'n' told me to go there. He never told me why, but he said he'd meet me there a few hours after I got there...



Max: My dad saw me off early in the morning. Didn't tell the self-righteous cow or the little-brat-brother of mine that either of us were going. I suppose that technically meant we were bailing out on them but it had to be done. Or, at least, it had to be done in my case. My father on the other hand... I didn't understand his reasonings, or what he was thinking. But he never told me...



Max: After getting a plane down nearer to where I was heading, I had to rent a car to keep going. I tell ya', finding a town when the directions are fairly vague, no one's heard of the town, you don't know its official name, 'n' it isn't even on the Alterran map anymore... biggest challenge of my life so far. It actually took me months to find the bloody place-that's how friggin' hard it was. However, it was far from the abandoned ghost town I had in mind...



Ant: C'mon man, I've been tryna' get in touch with ya'. We're gonna' be late if we don't get our bloody skates on pronto!
Max: You've been calling me? But I don't have a phone.
Ant: ... Then I've been tryin' to reach SOMEONE for about an hour... Anyway, haway let's get goin'!



Max: Ant was the only person I got along with in the first two days of being in this town, so I GUESS that means he qualifies for my best friend. Grew up in Sengland, which explains his rather difficult-to-understand accent. He's the same age as me, give or take about six months, yet he's been in this town for four years he says. He hasn't told me why he came here or anything of his life from before he moved here... but after seeing the other shady characters 'round here, I figured he's as good a person to trust as anyone. I thought nothing of what his story was. I was confused enough already with my dad-he said he was gonna' meet me shortly after I arrived... What happened to him? What was his plan of bringing us here?... I thought nothing more of it. There was time for that later. For now, I was trying to work out just what the hell was going on in this place...
Ant: Y'know, it's a good thing I ain't on the dust today. I'd be too late to make it to the race if it were first thing in the mornin'. Y'know they deduct points off ya' in the overall league if ya' don't turn up on time?
Max: So you keep saying. Look, you told me this week's just practice for the new fellas, next week's the start of the new season... why's this such a big deal for you?
Ant: I ain't never made it to a race in the whole time I been here. An' I'm keepin' that record for as long as I can.
Max: You've been in this town for so long, you claim you're an ace driver... yet you're still in the bottom rank? What's up with that?
Ant: ... That's a different story altogether.



Ant: Alright, maybe we JUST missed the first race... this don't count 'gainst my record though
Max: So THIS is what the deal is 'round here?






Ant: Yep. Let the mayhem an' carnage sink in, Maxey.
Max: Ahem.
Ant: Sorry... MAX.



Meg: 'Sup handsome?
Ant: What's the crack gorgeous?
Meg: Hehe, ssh, don't want Chrissie rollin' in 'ere 'n' gettin' all fired up 'gain do we?
Ant: Hmm, I dunno, I think she's cute when she's angry. Besides, we ain't doin' nothin' wrong.
Max: Uhm... HELLO?



Ant: Oh, right, sorry. Max, Meg. Meg, Max.
Max: Wow, what a great introduction Ant.
Ant: Why thank ya' kindly. I thought so mysel'.
Meg: (Laughs) Nice to meet you Max.
Max: You too, Meg.
(Awkward silence)
Meg: Right, well, I gotta' run. Gotta' go get the next lot ready to go out there.
Ant: Catch ya' later Megs.



Max: Wow, she's...
Ant: Hot.
Max: Yeah...
Ant: I wouldn't get ideas though 'f I were you. She don't take no interest in no one so don't go expectin' to get any special attention from 'er.
Max: That's not what it looked like from where I was standing.
Ant: We were jus' messin' man! She's like my number one fan, an' we're like best buds... an' it don't hurt that she's the flag girl for the first three ranks of the league neither.



Tim: Well, well, well look who it is: Antony Willis. Never thought we'd see you back out on the dust after last time we met.
Ant: Jus' be thankful you didn't end up in a hospital bed... not that there are any hospitals nearby, should a terrible tragic accident have occurred an' put you in an unfortunate situation.
Tim: Fighting words, Antony... Well, glad to see you're back down here at the Absolute Beginners rank, where you belong.
Ant: Well, not-so-glad-to-see you aren't humorously handicapped or paralysed to the point where you can't even feel smug with that punchable mug of yours.
Tim: Ow! That hurt my feelings, that did.
Ant: Yeah, whatever.
Tim: Well at least you're keeping the kids company down here. It's good, people should roll with those of their same driving talent... this is quite a perfect match for you.
Ant: I wouldn't bet on it. You oughta' watch your back Walker. Give it a while, then sooner or later, you'll hear a roaring V8 then you look behind an' see a flash you can't make out. Next thing ya' know, ya' back here where I am now an' I'm there up on the throne where I strive to be. It's written in the dust, you'll see.
Tim: HAHA! What a story Antony! I'm already looking forward to that... should I ever see it happen, that is! Now, if you'll excuse me, I wouldn't mind getting a little practice in on the dust before the season. Then I'm taking Billie out to her favourite restaurant in Emerald City, it's our twelve month anniversary today.
Ant: I feel sorry for you Billie.
Tim: That reminds me, how's Chrissie doing?... Y'know what, nevermind, I'll give her a friendly visit tonight.



Ant: Why you little son-of-a-mother-fu-!
Tim: Haha I'll catch you boys later!
Billie: See you 'round Ant... and your friend.



Max: Who... was that?
Ant: Timothy-fucking-Walker. The "King Of The Desert"... pfff, he's about as royal as the rust building up in the water pipe. But he's sure as hell a rich tosser too, has his nice lil' mansion all handbuilt specially for him... Stuck-up swine.
Max: He has an interesting middle name, apparently. But no, I meant the girl who was with him?
Ant: Oh that's Billie, nice enough gal, get on well with her... She's Tim's bird.
Max: Oh, nevermind then...
Ant: Ha, you're movin' quick there Maxey. Quicker than I was when I first came here. I mean, first Meg, now Billie, next thing we know you'll be tellin' me ya' wanna' shot at wor Chrissie.
Max: By the way, what the hell is wrong with your accent?
Ant: ... Mildly offensive dontcha' think?... I refuse to lose my Denevian accent, but I've lived here way too long now so sadly my accent's half-phased out.
Max: Riiight... Anyway, can we skip back to what you 'n' that Timothy were talkin' 'bout before?
Ant: Now why would you wanna' do somethin' like that? Nothin' to talk 'bout.
Max: No, seriously, what WAS that? Hospital? "Last time"?... You guys got a dark grudge against one another?
Ant: It isn't important, don't bog yasel' down 'bout it a'ight?
Max: It sure sounded important.
Ant: Well it isn't!... Just... It's a long story, ok? C'mon, I wanna' get outta' here before I put a match down Walker's gas tank.



Rico: What ya' guys think?
Tina: Wow! Very impressive!
Sammy: Yeah... big woop.
Rico: Whatsa' matter Sammy? Ashamed of the ol' Sigfrid over there?
Sammy: Hell no, it's grown on me. I love the little thing! Wouldn't trade it for anythin'.



Officer: Sam! Your Sigfrid's been torched!
Sammy: Good, I hope it burns in automotive hell.
Rico and Tina: ...



Max: So here I was, arriving in a thought-to-be abandoned town supposedly for something my dad wanted to show or tell me, but then to find some sort of racing syndicate down here 'n' people more screwed up then me... 'n' my dad disappearing into thin air, no trace. I'd only been here two days but I could tell it wouldn't be easy to stick it out here, let alone be ready for whatever lay on the road ahead for me. That Timothy fella's clearly a dick, though apparently that's him on a good day. The moment I saw Billie she was really... ahem... I didn't say anything... Then there's Ant, 'n' inevitable trouble he's getting into with that Megan chick... But who the hell is this Chrissie person??? ... 'N' what's Ant's deal with Timothy? Why's he being so secretive about what happened between 'em 'n' his life before he came here?...



Teddy: You Cooper?
Max: That's me.
Teddy: Ant told me ya's were in desperate need for some wheels?
Max: I wouldn't say "desperate" but...
Teddy: You lookin' to buy?
Max: Sure thing.
Teddy: Through tha' door on ya' left. I ain't got much in, most of 'em been picked out by them there new kids so ya' ain't got much choice I'm afraid.
Max: No problem.



Max: But anyway, back to MY story... I decided I was best to start over life down here, no annoying bitch of a step-mother, no little prick of a brother, no nuisance of a so-called childhood friend... When I think 'bout it, I wonder if this was my dad's trick to get rid of me, possibly signing disownment papers as we speak for all I know...



Max: But now I have a golden opportunity to be who I wanna' be, live a life in this socially awkward town-
Sammy: Y-ya' can't say that 'bout where ya' live!
Ant: Sssh!
Sammy: Sorry.
Max: Ahem... Ah, screw this flexible script. There's plenty in this town for me to take, I'm sure. So, for starters, I'm gonna' reign supreme in this little patch of dust in the middle of nowhere by becoming the new King Of The Desert... I mean, hey, I'm a skilled driver, how hard can it be?
Teddy: Look, I do wanna' get home tonight, even if it IS just upstairs. You decided yet?



Max: Yeah, sorry. This'un right here'll do just fine.
Teddy: No bother. I'll go get the keys for ya' 'en.



Max: So here I go. This should be fun, or so I hope... I know Ant has his beef 'bout Timothy but I'll be sure to wipe the smile off both their faces when I pass 'em both. They's ain't smart, they probably think that two 'n' two make four... Oh wait... nevermind...



Teddy: I also happen to have a few extra entrance forms for the season, submission closing date's tomorrow so... I'd imagine you're interested?
Max: Hell yeah. We'll see what happens out there when the dust settles...