Episode 12 - Coming Back From The Dead

[MADMarkyD93]

A Note From The Author/Actors III (Is A Crowd)



Jack: Hi there, I’m Jack Felham, I play Kenneth “Ken” Warrington… The twisted spade-wielding psychopath character.
Pat: And I’m Patrick Walters, I play Archibald “Archie” Bates… Nothing interesting to say about my character I’m afraid… He’s a nobody.
Jack: A lot like you then.
Pat: Oi! Ya’ little b*tch!
Quincy: Fellas, please.
Pat: Sorry…



Jack: Expected Mark and another of the main actors doing this didn’t you? Well tough! This episode is mainly in our era so we deserved to head it off with this ourselves.
Pat: That’s right!
(Banging on the door)
Floyd: Erm, guys? PLEASE let me in! PLEASE! I promise I’ll behave! I won’t get overly excited and talk to the audience at all, I SWEAR!
Jack: Oh that’s just Floyd… The guy who plays The Wasteland’s resident ice cream fan, Dixon “Dixie” Larter… He’s erm, a little ill today and couldn’t join us this morning.
Floyd: Guys!… Guys? Unlock the door!
Jack: What were we even meant to be saying to the folks at home anyway Pat?
Pat: Erm… Mark says sorry for the delay, and that next week should resume ordinary service again. And also that he’s, once again, found opportunities to add in extra scenes, despite being “cooped” in the office.
Jack: Oh yeah.
Pat: And that they include: “Another addition of a prominent character, connections to the ol’ origins stories, and a KILLER ending!”
Jack: Ssh! Don’t ruin it!
Pat: I didn’t say anythin’!



Jack: So…
Pat: Is that it? All we have to say?
Jack: I guess so… Think we should get rid of them photos Mark has on the table? Him and that girl are just too loved up.
Pat: I agree, but he’d murder you if you so much as touch them so best leave them where they are.
Jack: Guess we’re all done then?
Quincy: Aaaaand cu-



(Door forces open)
Floyd: Hey there guys!
Jack: Oh!
Pat: Oh.



Floyd: Hi everyone! I’m Floyd Aiken, and I-
Jack: We erm… already said that stuff Floyd.
Floyd: What!?
Pat: We’re sorry.



Floyd: Why would you guys do this to me!? (Cries)
Pat: …
Jack: …
Pat: Quincy?
Quincy: Harry.




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Kings Of The Desert
Season: 01
Episode: 12
Written by: Mark Davison
Produced by: Moonstone Productions
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AGE RATING: 15+
CONTAINS: STRONG LANGUAGE, STRONG VIOLENCE, SCENES OF EXPLICIT ICE CREAM
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Max: Dad…



Max: I’m sorry too…
Daryl: Don’t worry Max-soon I’ll have given these guys the slip permanently. After that, you ‘n’ me in The Wasteland kid, we’ll be sound. Just wait.
Voice: You think he’s hiding something from you? You wanna’ find out either way though, right?



Voice: What about the girl? What you gonna’ do about her?
Billie: Pull yourself together girl. This isn’t what you wanted, not anymore. You need to find a way out. You CAN find a way out. Any help, anyone?… That’s what I thought.
Voice: Just ‘cause she’s seeing that Walker fella’? The guy’s a dick, don’t feel bad about it. He doesn’t deserve her, and he’s losing his grip on her, as Meg says. What Billie says is true-he isn’t the same man she fell in love with. Everything will end well… for you at least. Everybody else, time will only tell. I’ve always liked you Maximillion, always will.



Tim: Billie deserves only the best. She’s been brought up in the wrong place, with the wrong people. I’ll rescue her from all that. If what it takes for her to be truly happy is to take her away from everyone, including YOU, then that’s what I’ll do.
Leo: Billie’s way too good for you. There isn’t anythin’ I’d not do for her. I’ll do whatever it takes to hold onto her. You wanna’ have her all to yourself? I’ll be dead before I let that happen.



Chrissie: You are SO sweet! I love you.
Ant: I love you too Cookie…



Ant: More than anyone…
Meg: Sounds to ME like there’s some doubt there… As if things could be better? Or there could be someONE better?
Ant: Well, if I’m completely honest with you…



Olivia: You’re throwing everything you have away for… for HIM!?
Chrissie: Even if me and him were the only two people in Alterra, I’d still be happy with life. There’s nothing we can’t face together… I finally started to miss my dad. I still do, though I figure that I’m better off without him. If only I knew where he actually went, at least just to tell him exactly how I felt about everything and be done with it all for good… but since when have I ever been granted anything of the sort?



Kai: I really love your hair, Liz.
Eliza: Thank you. I… like yours too.
Kai: Oh, actually I dye it black, I’ve always preferred it that way.
Eliza: Dyed it?
Kai: Oh yeah, my hair used to be bl-… Yeah, I dyed it.
Eliza: … “Liz”? Not too many people call me THAT name… This Kai… Could he be-?
Kai: Well, I wasn’t at all surprised you made it here, knew you’d follow your plan through.



Miles: Why you sendin’ me out THERE? What could possibly be needed of me down them parts?
Voice: We don’t pay you to ask questions, you’re paid to do whatever the fuck we tell you! Is that understood!?
Miles: Sure… “BOSS.”
Voice: What you found out about the individuals we wanted scoops on, huh?
Miles: I changed my mind. Do your own dirty work from now on. I’m not gonna’ be another sell-out like the people I once worked with. You can all go fuck yourselves.
Voice: You’ll regret this Hoffman. You break the oath, we send the hit squads out on you.
Miles: Already lookin’ forward to it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some things I need doin’.
Voice: Son of a-!
Miles: Hit squads… Somehow, I ain’t the slightest bit impressed. Give me the best shot ya’ have.



Voice: Yeah? News?
Eric: It’s Eric… The erm… Y’know all those guys we had trapped in the lab?
Voice: Mhmm.
Eric: They uh, somehow, kinda’ managed, some way or the other, find out how to exit the buildin’?
Voice: WHAT!?
Eric: W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-wait a minute sir, wait a minute. Me ‘n’ Damian are on the case, we swear! We’ll gun ‘em all down if we have to, all ninety of ‘em!
Voice: Ninety!? There was over a hundred fuckin’ people in that building!
Eric: … Oh.
Damian: (In the background) Oh yeah that’s right there’s a second list of names somewhere… Shit, must’ve dropped it.
Voice: You two get the hell out there an’ kill them NOW! You better just hope you pull it off, ‘cause if ONE person makes it away to safety, it’ll be YOU TWO who will take the suffering for each and every one of them. Got it?
Eric: Yeah yeah yeah we got it we got it! C’mon Damian we better get out there.
Voice: (Sigh)… Things were more simple in the early days…





Ken: So much for bein’ a small town keepin’ to themselves.
Archie: It’s only been a year. How’d we get so popular?
Ken: Well today’s just a play-day so you expect to see more people out there just goofin’ around. But wow today we sure as hell got a lot of variety out there. I mean look! There’s a Sigfrid Van for sands’ sake!
Dixie: And that one’s for you!
Voice: Thank you very much!
Dixie: You are very welcome!
Archie: Huh? What’s goin’ on over there? Oh no… NO way.
Ken: What is it?



Dixie: Strawberry for you madam!
Woman: Thank you!
Dixie: You’re welcome! And how about a date!?
Woman: No!
Dixie: Terrific! And for you sir!?
Man: Mint chocolate chip!
Dixie: Here you go!
Man: Yes! Thanks!
Dixie: Anytime!
Man: Would you go on a date with ME!?
Woman: No!
Man: Oh well!
Dixie: Can’t win ‘em all!
Man: No you can’t!



Archie: I should have guessed. What else does Alterra’s number one ice cream-aholic do but open his own parlour?
Dixie: EXACTLY! Welcome to Dixie’s SCREAM-For-It Ice SCREAM Parlour!
Archie: Ow! Quit SCREAMing!
Dixie: I can’t! It’s the rules! Ya’ gotta’ SCREAM for it!!!
Ken: He’s took this scream thing way too far…
Archie: No kidding.
Dixie: Ah! I’ve NEVER been happier!
Ken: What about the racin’? It was your idea to start with.
Dixie: I can’t hear you! SPEAK UP!
Ken: (Sigh) What about the racin’!? It was YOUR idea to start with!
Archie: ARGH! Stop it! Don’t encourage him!
Ken: YOU’RE doin’ it too!
Dixie: See!? SCREAMing is contagious! And you two are the BEST SCREAMers all day, have a free ice cream each!!!
Ken: I’ll pass, thanks.
Archie: You know I have sensitive teeth, Dixon.



Dixie: WHAT!? You… DON’T LIKE ICE CREAM!?
Archie: Well… No. I can’t eat it.
Dixie: I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!
Archie: NO I don’t! Ok!? I can’t eat it!
Dixie: Then I shall MAKE ice cream for people with sensitive teeth! And YOU shall be my voluntary tester!
Archie: (Gulps)



Dixie: TO THE TESTING ROOM I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!



Ken: … You think he’s actin’ weird?
Archie: SPEAK UP! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!
Ken: Oh don’t YOU start!
Archie: Seriously! I think I’ve gone part-deaf from all the SCREAMing! What did you say!?
Ken: I said do you think he’s actin’ weird!?
Archie: Oh! I can hear better again… Well, Dixon’s always been a bit on the weird side, dontcha’ think?
Ken: I mean more so than normal.
Archie: I’d never use the word “normal” to describe THAT one.
Ken: True that. I just hope there’s no one else in Alterra now or ever who’s anything like him.
Archie: Ha! C’mon Ken! Like anyone else like that could POSSIBLY exist!?
Ken: STOP SCREAMING!!!



Dixie: Now, let’s see… If I’m going to make this ice cream, then first I’m gonna’ need to-
Voice: Hi there Dixon. Keeping well?
Dixie: Oh hi! Yes thank you! I’m just gr- wait a minute…
Voice: Remember me?
Dixie: … WOW! It’s REALLY you!
Voice: Ow… Don’t scream Dixon, please.



Dixie: Can I get you some ice cream?
Voice: Ice cream?
Dixie: Yeah!
Voice: What IS this obsession?
Dixie: It’s not an obsession! It’s a HOBBY! I have my own parlour and everything!
Voice: I’m very happy for you Dixon.
Dixie: I just LOVE how frosty they are and that they’re freezing cold!
Voice: … But you live in the desert,
Dixie: … So I DO! Strange that. Well we do get snow in the winter, the climate here is freak-ay.
Voice: Do me a favour?
Dixie: Sure!
Voice: Shut up about ice cream. And also don’t tell anyone I’m back. ESPECIALLY not Kenneth. Not yet anyway.
Dixie: Alright, lips are sealed!
Voice: And stop screaming.
Dixie: Sorry!
Voice: Stop it!



Mechanic: Heard you did good on the MacPherson case.
Costello: Thanks. Well, I just did what had to be done, I guess.
Officer: Don’t be so modest Deck! You blew this case WIDE open!
Costello: No. WE did, partner.
Officer: Not anymore, I’m afraid.
Costello: What do you mean?
Officer: Captain Baker decided today he would resign as of tomorrow and appoint the Vice Chief in charge of the Bureau. He also said he wanted YOU to take the Vice Chief’s place.
Costello: ME!? But I’m only nineteen! How the hell am I supposed to fill a role like THAT!?
Officer: You’ll manage. Hey, you’ll make Captain one day, I’m sure. Well, I guess this is it then. Been a pleasure having you with me pal.



Costello: Partners forever. You remember that now.



Ken: (Sigh) I love this show, it’s so moving… ‘Course you know, one day sooner or later, the times will catch up with it an’ they’ll turn it into some sort of stupid moronic comedy starring stupid moronic cops in stupid moronic cars and the only people watching it will be stupid moronic degenerates who just want stupid moronic thrills. It’s so stupidly moronic.
Archie: I doubt that’ll happen. What? You expectin’ some sort of idiotic halfwit cop to have no good luck and is just the thickest dumbass Alterra’s ever seen? Pff that’s not exactly the making of a great TV show, it wouldn’t get really popular.
Ken: Nah it’ll happen. ‘Cause then in due time it’ll be replaced by a new serious-ish cop show. It’ll be new, emotive, yet action-packed. ‘Course, they’ll realise the modern day in the future is crap so they’ll set it in the 80s again, but probably make the main dude time-travel or be stuck in a twisted dream of some sort.
Archie: Sounds like the main guy’s a psycho.
Ken: Probably will be.
Archie: You have good insight into things.
Ken: You would be surprised…
Archie: What’s up?
Ken: Still curious over Dixon earlier.
Archie: He’s always strange, don’t fret over it.
Ken: He seems weirder than normal… I think he’s hiding somethin’.
Archie: Like what?
Ken: I dunno.
Archie: Exactly. The guy CAN’T be hiding anythin’. He ain’t the scheming type.



Ken: I really can’t figure it out at all. I KNOW something’s wrong about him, but what? I guess I’m gonna’ have to get the truth outta’ him one way or another. What does he know?… What COULD he know? He isn’t exactly the quickest grain of sand in the desert, he doesn’t even notice what he’s doing while he’s doing it sometimes. Guess I’m just paranoid. Dixie will NEVER understand anything, especially if I managed to put Archie’s mind at rest over last year.



Voice: I can’t believe he was stupid enough to even step foot back in that town, let alone go in on his own. Does he not remember what happened the last time that happened? What the hell is he even wantin’ to be there in the first place!?



Voice: Gotta’ get ‘im outta’ there, before Warrington finds out.



Voice: Thanks for letting me stay last night Dixon. Nice place you have.
Dixie: Thanks! Well, you remember we had to build everything ourselves, and salvage what we could from what was left when we first got here.
Voice: Yeah… Was never a pretty sight to start with.
Dixie: Hey! We now have ice cream though!
Voice: What did I say about the ice cream talk!? Or screaming for that matter!?
Dixie: Sorry!
Voice: Stop it!
Dixie: … Sorry.
Voice: That’s better.
(Knock on the door)
Archie: Dixie! Wakey wakey! Get a move on!
Ken: For the love of all that is dusty, why ya’ got the door locked? I know you’re safety conscious but we’re hardly gonna’ get any unexpected visitors!
Voice: Hm, he has no idea. I better hide.
Dixie: Why? Dontcha’ wanna’ see Kenny and Archie after all this time?
Voice: (Sigh) Why should I have expected you to remember?



Archie: Dixie! What ya’ doin?
Dixie: How’d ya’ get in? I thought you said the door was locked.
Ken: Lil’ lockpickin’ never hurt nobody.
(Clang from upstairs)
Archie: Who’s that?
Dixie: Who’s who?
Ken: (Quietly) Oh here we go…
Archie: A clang just came from upstairs.
Dixie: No there didn’t. You must be hearin’ things!
Archie: Ow… Well if you keep fricken’ SCREAMin’ like that then I’m surprised I can bloody hear anythin’ at all!
Dixie: I’m only gettin’ into practice for work!
Ken: Will you both SHUT UP!?
Voice: (From upstairs) Ow! The lot of ya’ fuckin’ stop screamin’ already!!!
Ken: … Ok, now I KNOW I heard somethin’ there.
Dixie: I have a talkin’ ice cream box!
Archie: You would expect us to believe that because if one of them existed we wouldn’t doubt that you’d own one.
Dixie: You mean they don’t exist!?
Archie: No, they don’t.



Dixie: Then I am to DESIGN one! Anyway, work time! Let us go to the dust now! C’mon!
Archie: But, the voice ups-
Dixie: C’MON!
Archie: Alright! But only to stop you screaming!
Ken: Dixie… Mind if I use your bathroom? I’ll catch up.
Dixie: Uhm, sure! Ok!




Ken: Heh, never knew there was only the one room up here. Can’t see anyone though. Coulda’ sworn there was someone up here.
Dixie: Kenny! Bathroom’s downstairs!
Ken: Oh right! Sorry Dixon!
Archie: Both of you stop scream-… Hey, is that-
Dixie: Sssh!
Ken: Is that what?
Archie: Erm, nothing. Sorry.



Dixie: Don’t tell Kenny please.
Archie: Why is he here? ‘N’ what is he doin’ hanging on the ledge?
Dixie: He doesn’t want Kenny to know he’s here. Promise you won’t say anythin’!



Archie: Ok, I promise.
Ken: Promise what?
Archie: Huh? Oh nevermind. Let’s go.



Ken: Now you’re actin’ weird too Archie? Oh fellas, do I have to beat the truth outta’ you? ‘Cause I will. One way or another, I WILL find out the truth.



Dixie: Thank you! Come again!
Archie: Ow… So what’s so special about today Ken that you brought us out to the dust on a day we don’t normally race?
Ken: You’ve forgotten, haven’t you?
Archie: Forgotten what?
Dixie: THE SHOWDOWN!
Ken: … OW… Yes, Dixon, the showdown.
Dixie: TODAY IS THE DAY!
Archie: OW!… Oh yeah. Sorry I completely forgot.
Ken: It seems that way.
Archie: Hoping to keep hold of your King Of The Desert title for a second year?
Dixie: He will! He will! I KNOW he will!
Archie: Damn it Dixie!
Ken: Archie, come over here a minute.



Archie: Ah! Now that’s better.
Ken: Isn’t it? I plan on making a quiet zone sign for over here.
Archie: What’s your thoughts for the sign?
Ken: A big picture of Dixie with a red cross through it?
Archie: Sounds appropriate, actually.
Ken: Yep. Now that we’re out of the scream area… I wanna’ have a word about earlier.
Archie: Come again?
Ken: What’s up with you ‘n’ Dixie?
Archie: How d’ya’ mean?
Ken: You both acted kinda’ strange after we left Dixie’s house.
Archie: Oh that!… Erm, nevermind. Dixie was just a bit weird, it kinda’ threw me off a little-got distracted. Sorry.
Ken: Uh-huh.



Ralph: Ready Kenneth?
Archie: Who the hell is THIS!?
Ken: Ralph… We needed a guy to keep an eye on the different divisions within the Kings Of The Desert, so this chap came along one day on a hike whilst the farming season was over and he had no work back home, then said he’d stay to help out. Though we have a couple people in charge of specific areas, Ralph oversees everything. ‘N’ yeah I’m ready Ralph, shall we?
Archie: Who you up against anyway?
Ralph: That guy.



Ken: Never seen ‘im before.
Ralph: Oh he’s been around. Quite a good driver, if I’m bold enough to say.
Ken: How good?
Ralph: Could be a professional rally-cross driver for all I know. He has his tricks, both under the hood and behind the wheel.
Ken: Really?
Ralph: Oh yeah. Lemme’ introduce ya’s.



Ralph: Actually, I’ll let ya’s do it yourselves.
Ken: Hi, I’m Ken Warrington, I’m the King Of The Desert at the moment.
Harry: Nice to meet ya’.



Harry: I’m Harry Cooper.



KC: Sweetie, I want you to take care of this while we’re away. It’s my favourite necklace. I want you to keep it with you, for luck. And it’s my promise to you that I will come back. I WILL come back for you, no matter what.
Eliza: … Ok.
KC: Good girl. Love you darling.
Eliza: Love you too mummy.



Eliza: (Sigh) … Why can’t I stay asleep?



KC: I don’t like this.
Jay: What’s up Kel?
KC: I thought we were getting greeted at the door.
Jay: I thought that too, but maybe they’ve forgotten. C’mon, you know we’ve been told these guys weren’t the most reliable sort. Hence why we’re here in the first place. Don’t take what they say for granted, ok? As far as we’re concerned, we have to do everything ourselves before it’s deemed satisfactory.



Jay: No one in the front lobby…
KC: I vote we just wait here until someone shows.
Jay: We have a job to do honey. Sooner we get it done, sooner we can return home ‘n’ see Lizzie.
KC: I miss her already. And I don’t care whether we get the job done on time or not, when the deadline’s gone, I’m going home regardless. They can’t make us stay here any longer than what they said. They want us here longer, we want paid overtime AND want a break period before coming back.
(Door nearby opening)
Jay: Finally.



Jay: …
KC: No one’s coming.
Jay: (Sigh) I’m getting sick of this bullshit already. Hey! Someone there!?
(Door closes again. Then silence)
KC: This is freaking me out.
Jay: I’m bloody sick of this!



Jay: Hey! What are ya’ playing at huh!? Anyone gonna’ come out here or what!?KC: Jay! Where are you going!?
Jay: I’m seeing what the big idea is here, I didn’t come all this way for some bloody waste of time!



KC: (Sigh) A career change doesn’t sound so bad right about now.
(Loud metal clang)
KC: Oh great. This is going to be a long week.



KC: Jay? (Frustrated sigh) I would call the executive team if I could get through to them.



KC: Huh? Oh no, this can’t be good.



KC: This is too much blood to be an accident.



(Sounds of someone struggling)
KC: What’s going on in there? … Argh, the door’s locked. Gotta’ keep looking for someone.



KC: (Gasp)



(Another metal clang)



Man: Oh dude! Shit, this is too much for me to deal with! What should I do? What should I do!?



Man: I gotta’… Gotta’ do SOMETHIN’!



Ken: Best of luck.
Harry: Likewise.
Ken: You’ll need it.
Harry: Again, likewise.



Dixie: ARCHIE!
Archie: Oh no, NO! NO SCREAMING! We aren’t by your parlour so there’s no need!
Dixie: I have my new ice cream created for you to try! Should be comfortable to eat by people who have sensitive teeth.
Archie: So soon? Didn’t take long for you to do any research.
Dixie: C’mon! Come try it, you’ll see!
Archie: (Sigh) This can only go well…



Ralph: Should really get some good lookin’ honeys to start the races off…



Ken: Tell ya’ what then Ralphie, you do that.
Ralph: I will in future.
Harry: Can we please get this over with?
Ralph: Straight to business, eh Cooper?
Harry: …
Ralph: Fine, alright.



Ralph: Kings! Are you ready?… Three… Two…



Ralph: One…



Ralph: GO!




Ken: I don’t know who you are, or when you got here, but I’m not letting go of my throne… Or crown, I never decided what the official item of ruling actually is. Gotta’ think about that.




Harry: Hmph, persistent little bastard aren’t ya’?
Ken: Heh, this guy’s stupid to have not given in from corner one.



Archie: Ah sweet sands what the hell is happenin’ to me!?
Dixie: What’s wrong?
Archie: Your damn ice cream is what’s wrong! It isn’t suitable for people with sensitive teeth at all! It kills!
Dixie: Don’t worry, I’ll just make a few adjustments, I’ll be ready for a re-test then!
Archie: Screw you! You’re just as insane as Kenneth!
Dixie: Don’t be so mean! He’s not THAT bad!
Archie: Oh no? Just look at ‘im out there on the dust.




Ken: Argh! C’mon!
Harry: You’ve kept your title a whole year? Coulda’ fooled me.



Harry: Oh now that’s just pushing the matter further.
Ken: I’ll end you like I ended Vinnie. I’ll end you like I ended Ernie. I’ll end you like I’m fuckin’ gonna’ end Archie ‘n’ Dixon!



Ken: WHAT!?
Harry: Heheheh…



Ken: Son of a BITCH!
Harry: Apologies.



Ken: Oh you cocky little twat I’m comin’ for ya’ now!



Harry: Try it Kenneth, try it. Go on, I damn well dare you.
Ken: Time to hit the wall buddy-boy. You’re gonna’ hit that wall well hard indeed!



Harry: (Pulls on the handbrake) Little Cooper family trick…
Ken: Oh fu-!



Harry: Learnt that from my grandfather. Us Coopers have been in racing one way or another since 1911. I’ve done my best to keep my son out of it, but it’s no good-he’s just the same as everyone in this family has been so far. For all I know, his children, and his children’s children, are all gonna’ be the same too. It’s a tradition we’re tied to, never to leave again.



Ralph: Erm…
Harry: Problem? I’m the new King Of The Desert, right?
Ralph: Well, you haven’t done the full two laps yet.
Harry: Kenneth’s hardly in a shape to keep competing.



Harry: … Hell.



Ralph: Yep.



Harry: Sneaky little bugger, you are. But I’m the greatest of the Coopers, buddy, and I’m the least forgiving of the pack.
Ken: I might get careless, but I’ll always be the brains of this operation. And THAT will keep me on top of the game, ahead of all you stupid pieces of shit.



Ken: What d’you think you’re doing, Harold? It just ain’t gonna’ work on me.
Harry: No give? Fine then…



Harry: Take it instead!
Ken: Oh not again.



Harry: Out for the count THIS time?



Harry: I would say that’s a “yes.”



Harry: So, am I the new King Of The Desert NOW?
Ralph: I suppose so.
Harry: Clear-cut victory, huh?
Ralph: Quite.
Dixie: Kenny must’ve took a pretty hard hit with that last crash though.
Archie: (Quietly) I suppose now he’ll understand what he did to Vince last year.



Ken: (Breathing heavily) You little fuckin’ cockroach… Oh, you’ve went ‘n’ done it.



Ken: COOPER! You little slimy fucker I’ll have your head on a spike for this!
Ralph: Uh-oh, infamous Kenny-rage time again.
Archie: Oh here we go…
Dixie: Oh here we go!
Harry: (Clears throat)




Harry: … Disappointing. All I did was clear my throat.
Ken: Think you’re so cool…
Harry: Oh hey also, get off my car, will ya’? I know it ain’t clean anyway but c’mon that’s a nice paintjob underneath.




Harry: Ow… Heh, that the best you got? I’ve brawled with the best, scumbag.




Ralph: Right, right, right! The both of you stop it right now, ok!?
Ken and Harry: …



Ralph: You DICK!
Dixie: Ouch Ralphie! That musta’ hurt!





Ralph: Ow! Damn it!
Ken: Pfff HAHAHA!
Harry: Oh crap. Sorry Ralph I didn’t mean to-



Harry: Ah! Ok, I had that comin’.
Ken: Haha! Oh Ralphie that shot was just-



Harry: Haha! What was that Kenneth? ‘Least I’ve not taken any hits to the face. You look pretty done in.



Ralph: I’m done for the day now. Have a nice afternoon, gents.
Ken: Well that smarts.



Ken and Harry: …
Dixie: Erm, guys? I just wanna’ say, since you both put on such a show for us all, I’d like to offer you both a free ice cream of your choice!
Harry: That’s mighty kind of you. However, there’s something else I’d much rather prefer.
Dixie: Oh? Whassat?



Ken: Graaah!
Harry: That.
Dixie: Oh.
Harry: I’m goin’ to explore my new kingdom now. S’cuse me.



Archie: You alright Ken?
Ken: No I am NOT alright! That prick is goin’ down!
Archie: Cool it, don’t boil your blood over it. Remember what happened with Vince.
Dixie: VINCE!
Archie: Somethin’ wrong Dixie?
Dixie: No, not at all! I gotta’ go!
Archie: Me too.
Ken: Fine, both of you piss off then!



Ken: I’ll deal with Cooper personally.



Harry: Oh, will you?
Ken: Bloody hell!
Harry: Scare ya’? That’s what I thought. Be this a reminder to you that I’m not the one who should be watchin’ their back, it’s YOU.




Harry: Hey, hold up a minute. Are you Dixon?
Dixie: Erm, yeah, that’s me! Do I know you?
Harry: I’m Harold Cooper, I believe a mutual friend of ours is staying with you at the moment? He’s expecting me.
Dixie: Oh right! Yeah, he mentioned that. Come with me!
Harry: This guy’s quite annoyingly loud.
Archie: You have no idea, pal.



Jay: (Groans) What… Happened?



Jay: I’m really dizzy… What’s goin’ on?
(Distant scream)
Jay: Kel!



Jay: Ow. I’m comin’ honey!



Jay: Shit, the door’s locked.



Jay: C’mon! Bloody open!
Voice: Nah-ah-ah. Don’t expect to be gettin’ outta’ there in a hurry. You’re stuck where you are, same as every other person in this building. More are yet to come so please, get comfortable. I’ll be sure to invite some guests to accompany you in there shortly.



Jay: Wait, what are you talkin’ about? Who are you!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO KELLY!?
Voice: You can hear her screaming. At least you know she’s alive… For now.
Jay: This isn’t a game! It isn’t fuckin’ funny!
Voice: I like to think it is.



(Slow, repetitive, and heavy hits against the door)
Jay: Come… ON!… Damn it… OPEN!… Just… Break…



(Wood shattering)
Jay: FREE!




Jay: Oh no, PLEASE tell me this is some kind of SICK dream!



Jay: Kel, are you ok!?
KC: Yeah, few bruises I think but otherwise, I’ll survive.
Jay: I’m gettin’ us outta’ here. NOW.
KC: No good. Not yet.
Jay: Why not?
KC: I heard the building’s being put on lockdown. We can’t leave unless we shut it off.
Jay: I’ll find a way to get it off, I promise you.



Jay: We’re going to get home, we’re going to see Lizzie, and everything will be ok.
KC: I wish it were all that simple.



Jay: You just rest. I’m going to look for more captives to help out, and find a way out of this place.
KC: Be careful Jay… I love you.
Jay: I love you too.



(Knock on the door)
Miles: Come in.
Voice: … Are you sure?
Miles: Did I sound sure?



Miles: Elza?
Eliza: Sorry to show up so late… Or, early for that matter.
Miles: Well we haven’t been the best sleepers lately have we? It’s alright, I wasn’t thinkin’ of going to sleep anytime soon anyway.
Eliza: Why not?
Miles: Doesn’t matter. What’s up?
Eliza: Mind if I sit down first? I want to talk about it to someone and, well I’ve trusted you with everything else lately so…
Miles: Sure.



Miles: … Ok?
Eliza: Yeah, thanks.
Miles: So, what’s the trouble?
Eliza: Well, it all started a few days before my tenth birthday…



Voice: Look out!
Man: Aaaagh!
(Gunshot)



Man: Shit, that was a close one!



Voice: Get used to it. Stick with me then that’ll happen every other day to ya’.



Man: What are we gonna’ do with this guy?
Daryl: Leave ‘im there. Why?



Man: You’re just gonna’ leave a dead guy right here?
Daryl: Yup. Problem?
Man: N-n-no problem.
Daryl: C’mon, we better get outta’ here.



(Lots of guns loading)
Daryl: Aw hell.
Man: Shit no!



Daryl: Buddy, you might wanna’ get behind me for this bit.
Man: I can’t look! But I’m lookin’!
Daryl: Chill out. (Quietly) Just do as I tell ya’ ‘n’ you’ll be outta’ this in one piece…



Voice: You alright Archie?
Archie: No I am NOT alright! DIXIE! Your prototype ice cream SUCKS! My teeth are STILL FRICKEN’ KILLIN’ me over here!
Dixie: Stop SCREAMing Archie! C’mon, you’re giving me a headache!
Archie: Rrrr, I’ll give you a bloody headache!



Harry: Fellas, please, desist. So, why were you down here in the first place? Was the first time not bad enough for both of us?
Voice: Accidentally wound up here again last year, got driven out by force. Now I’m back for revenge.
Harry: Revenge?
Voice: Revenge.
Harry: Alright.
Voice: And you?
Harry: You know why.
Voice: No I don’t. You say you’re here to find me, but you’ve been here for quite some time. Hence how you challenged Kenneth for the King Of The Desert title earlier today. Congrats to that by the way.
Harry: Thanks. And well… I’m looking for Camille.
Voice: Cammie? Daryl’s Cammie? After all this time, you think she’s still here? Still alive for that matter?
Harry: I’m positive she‘s alive, just doubt that she‘s here. But it’s the only lead I have. Daryl thinks she’s gone forever, but I’m convinced otherwise. Not sure where she is, but I’m certain she’s still around somewhere.
Voice: What makes you say that?
(Knock at the door)
Dixie: Oh no! Someone’s onto you! Quick! You better hide!
Voice: Dixon, shush. Open the door, you know who it’ll be. We’re expecting him.



Dixie: Vinnie!?Vince: Is he here?
Dixie: Yeah, yeah he’s here.



Dixie: Oh erm, Harry, this is Vinnie. Vinnie, this is Harry.
Harry: Nice to meet ya’.
Vince: Likewise. I understand we both know-
Voice: Vincent! You finally came.



Vince: That’s right. Wonderin’ what the hell you’re doin’ back here.
Voice: I thought it was obvious. After all, you went toe-to-toe with Kenneth yourself.
Vince: Yeah, but… I got out at the right time. He wants you dead more ‘cause you’re the one he knows for certain that knows about his little secret.
Voice: No. He WANTED me dead ‘cause he KNEW that. Remember?



Vince: You aren’t worried he’s gonna’ notice you back in town?
Voice: Same way if he notices YOU?
Harry: I’m not his greatest fan either.
Dixie: Oh thanks, neither will I be, now.
Harry: Have Archie watch your back, you’ll be fine.
Archie: ‘Cause Dixie’s so easy to take care of? Thanks a bunch.



Ken: What?
Vince: Better make sure no one else rats you out then.
Voice: That won’t be necessary. He wouldn’t believe them.
Vince: And why not?
Ken: It can’t be!



Ken: Ernest Walker!
Ernie: Since when have ghosts been coming back from the dead?