Episode Three (3)

[Luke]

Jo: Hello! Hello and welcome back – to Sim Gear! Oh yes we’re back!



Nathan: Quite right there Jo. Yes, we’re back. We had technical difficulties months ago which wiped us off air, but it wasn’t enough to defeat us.
Jo: That’s very true. You might have been wondering where we went too.
Eddie: No because everybody knew straight after it happened, Jo. They were told.
Jo: Oh right.
Nathan: Anyway, in the remaining four episodes of this series, a lot is going to happen. We have got crashes, splashes and much more fun. Anyway, new studio and new track. Not much different.





Eddie: Anyway, to kick us off today we have something rather special. Are there any good vans that are fast enough and big enough to get parcels to places on time? Now we could only use what the production teams could get their hands on, and secretly gave us a van to turn up to the track with, and nobody would know about it until we got there.



Eddie: Right this is what I’ve got. A Smoogo 546 Mk.1. Pretty basic to be honest. A bit of leg room. Let’s check inside.



Eddie: Now, it’s quite good for a van of the year 1970. This van of this type has actually been made from 1968. It’s the follow up to the 545 is the 546. It is very good I must say, it’s the best van I would say by a mile. There hasn’t been that many good vans about, but this has to be the most successful in Simmunist countries – just has to be. It has a cassette player; well it’s a lot better than what my dad had in his car when I was a little kid. It’s a lovely van. I’m sure it will be a joy to drive when we get it onto the track.



Eddie: Tons of space in the back! You could fit an elephant in there! Literally. Now I’m going to make my way onto the track as I’ve been told there’s a challenge coming.



Jo: What the hell? Is that… that’s a Smoogo 546 Mk.1! They’ve given me a Mk.2? What the hell is going on here?



Jo: The Mk.2 isn’t actually that much different interior wise, as this wasn’t made much longer after the Mk.1, but this consisted of a 2.5 litre 6-cylinder two-stroke engine, the Mk.1 only had a 2.0 litre 5-cylinder engine. The whole van isn’t that much different, this was made in 1974 and I’m in the 1976 model, and this van had a 10-year lifespan until it was stopped making in 1984. It’s a classic.



Jo: The back holds lots of space to my surprise. I never remember it being this big when my dad had one of these vans in 1979 as he worked as a kitchen fitter, but I must say it’s very big.



Nathan: I have got a Smoogo 546 Mk.3! Yeah. I love this van- it’s so immense. And I’m up against its predecessors – the Mk.1 and 2. I’ve got this one in the bag.



Nathan: What’s it like inside? Alright. It’s got a Stereo. This is not much different actually to the Mk.2, except it’s sexier. I am being honest. It’s a lovely van. It has the same engine as the Mk.2, which is a let down. But it’s been revised. Although I think Smoogo are lazy for just… well this van is near enough like the Mk.1 but different. If you know what I mean, by its looks probably. It’s actually, a very good van but just too… boring now. Anyway, let’s see what this challenge up ahead is.



Jo: We’ve been told that the challenge is to pick up as many parcels as you can, scattered around the track as you can see, and the one with the most wins.
Nathan: Where are the parcels going to?



Jo: A fat Marvegan bloke with a pickup truck.
Nathan: Oh…
Eddie: Righto then! Let’s not waste any time? It’s a race yeah?
Jo: Well I assume so.



Eddie: And away we go! Yes I’m in the lead! Woohoo!
Nathan: How can this be happening? I’m in last!
Jo: Haha! Good start by me!



Jo: Yes!
Eddie: Oh he’s got me at the corner!
Nathan: Move out the way Eddie!



Jo: I better not have run over the parcel! Oh bugger!
Eddie: Haha!



Nathan: I’ve got one in! Woohoo! Let’s go!



Eddie: Right that’s my parcel in the back! Let’s go!
(Engine doesn’t start)
Eddie: What? You’re joking me! Oh I should have never switched the engine off! For goodness sake!



Jo: Next parcel here!
Nathan: Get out of my way Jo! Hang on, has Eddie stopped?
Eddie: COME ON! START YOU STUPID USELESS PIECE OF JUNK! Well it isn’t actually a useless piece of junk it won the award for ‘The most reliable van of 1973’.But COME ON!



Nathan: There’s my parcel. Right…WOAH!!! STOP! Erm… I am going to say a word that the viewers of Sim Gear are not aloud to hear… Sh*t. Anyway…
Jo: What the hell? Nathan!



Eddie: Yes! You wouldn’t believe it, it’s going again! Actually you would because this van also won the ‘Sim’s choice for carrying goods’ award in 1975. Oh hang on! Nathan’s stopped! Oh my god! He’s crashed! Haha!



Jo: Ha! You crashed!
Nathan: Only because this part of the track isn’t wide enough.
Jo: It is actually. You should have looked where you were going or you should have taken the turn with time and precision. You blithering idiot Nathan.
Nathan: Shut it! It’s the vans fault!
Jo: Nathan! You’re looking at one of the greatest pieces of machinery built by Sim!
Nathan: I wouldn’t say that… not if it’s a Smoogo, Jo.
Jo: It’s your fault! Not the vans!
Nathan: No it…
Jo: It is.
Nathan: No you just…
Jo: Shut up! It is.
Nathan: It just isn’t though.
Jo: It just is! Shut it!
Nathan: But…
Jo: Shush! I don’t want to hear…



Marvegan bloke: Oh my gawd… are these guys gonna stop arguing? I’m leaving now.



Nathan: It isn’t my fault though.
Jo: I don’t care what you think.
Nathan: No just…
Jo: Oh look what you’ve done now.
Nathan: What?
Jo: He’s left!
Nathan: Who’s left?
Jo: The Samerican bloke.
Nathan: No this is your fault.
Jo: It isn’t! Shut up!



Eddie: Wow! I love it when you two argue.
Jo: Yeah but I was right though. You can’t blame the van; you have to blame yourself Nathan.
Nathan: No I can’t though. It wasn’t my fault though.
Jo: Shut up!
Eddie: Oh dearie me…
Nathan: Well at least I was better than Eddie’s Mk.1!
Eddie: Er don’t say that. My van has won many different awards from 1971to 1975. Many that the Mk.3 hasn’t won!
Nathan: But mine’s faster…
Eddie: I don’t care. My van won best van of the year, sim’s choice…
Jo: Right. Let’s reach a verdict then! What was the best van? Eddie?
Eddie: I have to say the Mk.2. The Mk.1 was very good as well but the Mk.2 was a very interesting step up from the Mk.1. I like it.
Jo: Nathan?
Nathan: Mk.3 was the best. So, Jo you are now going to say the Mk.3 is the best aren’t you?
Jo: No.
Nathan: You’re not saying the Mk.1 was the best are you?
Jo: No. The Mk.2 was!
Nathan: But that’s your van you can’t say that!
Jo: But I was treated Nathan! It’s the best… it just is. So that’s what we think… the Mk.2 really shone.





Eddie: Hang on a minute! How many parcels did each of us get? I only got one. Yes it broke down. Maybe the Mk.1 isn’t as reliable as it was back in its day but what did you get Jo?
Jo: Two.
Eddie: Nathan?
Nathan: Ah ha! Yes I got two! So I’m the winner as well!
Eddie: No you crashed. You weren’t supposed too.
Nathan: Yeah but…
Jo: Just shut up and admit the Mk.2 was the best! Because it was.
Nathan: Alright! Alright! Stop yapping and let me talk! (Coughs) Ready? Here we go. The best van out of the three is… not the Mk.2 but…
Jo: Oh god…!
Nathan: …but the Mk.3! Ok?
Eddie: Quiet Nathan. Listen. You have a chance to redeem yourself here. The other day, a race took place outside the studio, to see which van was quickest. We weren’t driving them, but they were just given a short drag race down the street. Let’s see what happened! We don’t actually know what happened. Until now.



Eddie: Right so here we are at the starting line. From your left, we have the Mk.1, then the Mk.2, then Mk.3.




Eddie: And away we go! Oh great start from the Mk.2!
Nathan: What? How can this be happening?
Eddie: Mk.1 falling behind slowly…



Eddie: Oh and now the Mk.3 has overtook the Mk.2! Wow I can’t believe what I’m seeing here.
Nathan: Well I can!
Eddie: Obviously the Mk.1 not far behind but it looks as if its chances are over now.



Eddie: The Mk.3 getting away from the Mk.2 and this is going to be a great finale to the show! And…



Eddie: Across the line!
Nathan: Yes!
Jo: Oh well…



Eddie: So that proves… the Mk.3 is the fastest!
Nathan: Yes!
Eddie: But the Mk.2 is the most reliable.
Nathan: No.
Eddie: Yes.
Nathan: But that was my fault when I crashed it.
Jo: Oh I see! You admit it now just so you can win?
Nathan: No it…
Eddie: Let’s just say – the Mk.2 was a big improvement from the Mk.1, even though the Mk.1 was fantastic at it’s time.
Jo: Yes we must go by that verdict and that the Mk.3 was the fastest but not always the most reliable.



Nathan: And on that disappointing end to the show, it’s time to end.
Jo: He’s in a stupid world of his own, isn’t he?
Eddie: Certainly so.
Nathan: Goodbye we’ll see you next week!