Episode Four (4)

[Luke]

Eddie: Hello and welcome – to the recent episode of Sim Gear, with me, Eddie Clark, and this idiot behind me.
Jo: Jo’s my name, and I’m not an idiot Eddie!
Eddie: Yeah, whatever.
Jo: Anyway, we’re back from our long break as we said in the previous episode, and last week you would of seen us debate over which was the best out of the Smoogo 546 Mk.2 and Mk.3. In today’s episode, we test a new Smoogo on the block.
Eddie: And Jo tries to prove that nothing can beat the fastest production car in the Simlish world – the Hunka 711.
Jo: Anyway let’s get away with it . We might have made a big mistake – we let Nathan test the car.
Eddie: Yep… anyway here it is.



Nathan: Smoogo have recently started producing cars now, with the Veter and the Vestorgrad earlier last year. Bear in mind, Smoogo is probably one of the most cheap car makers of all time. I wonder what this car is going to be like.



Nathan: The Smoogo Dalis. Remember the old Smoogo Modesta? Made in 1999? Ten years later Smoogo decided to replace it with this. Now the Modesta was quite a good car, and saw the new dimension on the Smoogo timeline. Is this better? Well that’s why I’ve came here, Valdecosta in Riberia to find out. It has some of the best roads in the world. Now let’s see what this thing can do. There’s a bit of traffic, but nothing to much to give it a thorough test.



Nathan: Now I’m in the sedan version of the Dalis. The other options are either the hatchback or the estate version. Now let me go through the figures before we put our foot down. The top speed of the Dalis is 101. Not much but it’s enough for a mid-sized family car. It then has 475 brake horsepower. No I mean 75 brake horse power, sorry about that. And all of this costs less than a bag of chips. Literally.



(Engine revs loud)
Nathan: Right here we go. Oh! God what a noisy engine! It’s going up – it’s going up! 54 miles per hour ladies and gentlemen. Should I say gentlemen because all women will be watching Sim Dance with me on the other channel? Anyway, back to the testing. I must say it’s considerably smooth on this road, more than it was with the Modesta, all though they do re-tarmac this road nearly every month which is why this is one of the best driving roads in the world.



Nathan: Quite good at cornering. I like it very much. It’s cheap fun. Now there is quite a sharp corner coming up here now. This might be a chance to test its braking.





Nathan: Wow there’s a pond there. I’ll have to be careful. Right, I am now braking. This is actually scary. I don’t know what the brakes are like, and knowing Smoogo cars you’ll tap the brakes and nothing will happen and then you will crash – and die. Will the Dalis follow that?



Nathan: Oh bugger.



Nathan: Erm…!



Nathan: Ah! No stop please! Slow down!



Nathan: And… ooh! Oh no! Oh hang on I haven’t sunk! I’m stuck. Oh hang on water’s coming in! Ah no help!



Nathan: The Smoogo Dalis – don’t buy it. It may be cheap but the brakes are useless. Whatever happened to the things? Er, I need to get out. Help would be nice! Oh now I really am sinking. Help water’s coming in fast now! I must get out.



Nathan: Oh it seems a kind person has drove up to me and stopped to help in his Smoogo 711. No Smoogo owner could bear to see fellow Smoogo’s sinking in ponds. Thank you very much random bloke with a rope. Oh that’s excellent.



Nathan: Oh dearie me… I’m out finally.



Nathan: Bloody hell that’s one deep pond! Well the car actually deserved that. It was quite promising but its brakes let it down. I’m ashamed.



Nathan: I choose to abandon this. We just bought this car with our own funds, Smoogo didn’t let us borrow it.



Nathan: They wouldn’t even need to let us anyway. It cost nothing. Whatever we do with it now is our choice. But I want to do what I want to do with it.



Nathan: Ooops…!





Nathan: I’m disappointed.



Eddie: Oh so it was a big mistake then, to let Nathan test that car, Jo?
Jo: Certainly, so Eddie.
Nathan: The brakes were rubbish though.
Eddie: You braked to late Nathan. I actually took the Dalis around the track yesterday after Jo and I saw the film and realized the brakes weren’t that good, but I didn’t crash not once. And the track has got like, what? Twenty odd corners? If maybe Jo or I tested that car, we wouldn’t have crashed it and we wouldn’t have blown it up. You shouldn’t have driven it. What a waste of a Dalis.
Nathan: Shut up. I can drive.
Eddie: You did it on purpose because you hate Smoogo’s.



Nathan: No I don’t.
Eddie: Yes you do.
Nathan: I don’t.
Eddie: You do.
Nathan: Don’t!
Eddie: Does!
Nathan: Don’t!
Eddie: Does!
Jo: Oh here we go again… leave it Eddie. Shut it Nathan! God this is just like last week. Anyway, time to find out whether anything can possibly beat the Hunka 711 – the fastest production car of all time. I would race the Hunka against two separate races of whatever cars Eddie and Nathan each chose.



Jo: The Hunka 711. It’s been sold from 2005 and is currently the fastest production car in the world. It had a top speed of 235 miles per hour and has 788 brake horsepower. Nothing can possibly beat it. I wonder what Nathan thinks can beat it.



Nathan: This’ll beat it. The Sanders & Montargute Almira Mk.2 P-line! It’s got a 2.0 litre 6-speed gearbox that will power it to a top speed of 149 miles per hour. It’s got 211 brake horse power as well. No way as much as the Hunka 711 but I feel it in my bones that something will happen that will make the Almira win.



Eddie: And I’ve gone for this – the one and only Smoogo 720! Oh yeah! It’s actually a reliable Smoogo – as many of them were. Unlike what grumpy Nathan said earlier in the show you may have seen. It’s got a brilliant two-stroke engine. It’s the cheapest car for your money on the road today as it is driven by millions of Sims. And believe it or not, I’m one of those proud owners – and this is mine. In this wonderful pink paint, it will power it to the finish to beat the Hunka 711. Top speed is 86 miles per hour and it has about 50 brake horse power, but it’s not always speed that will win you races… alright maybe it is. Anyway let’s see Nathan fail miserably at racing that Hunka.



Nathan: Let’s hope that this can beat that piece of crap next to me.
Jo: The Hunka 711. Unbeatable in many ways. Let’s race!



Nathan: 3, 2, 1… go!



Jo: Ah ha! We’ve got the start!
Nathan: Oh no! Come on you can do it Almira!



Jo: To easy.
Nathan: Why? Why is this happening? Surely that Hunka cannot be unbeatable!
Jo: Haha!



Jo: Victory!



Nathan: I’m ashamed of this fine piece of machinery as the Hunka 711 shines again.



Nathan: Oh well, that’s it then I suppose. As a grinning Jo makes his way back on to the stretch to once again thrash another car – the Smoogo 720.



Jo: I know that my two fellow presenters haven’t brought a faster car than this Hunka 711 to the track today. The Smoogo 720 won’t be a worry at all. A top speed of just under 90 miles per hour? This can go 235. Sorry Eddie but you’re out of luck.



Eddie: Now, I do in fact have a trick up my sleeve in this race. Jo might not be grinning for much longer. Watch and learn viewers.



Eddie: 3,2,1…go Smoogo! Go, go!



Eddie: I knew I could do this!
Jo: What the hell? Look at that Smoogo go!



Eddie: Finish line is nearly here!
Jo: Come on Hunka! Speed up!



Eddie: Yeaaaaaaaahh! Now brake!
Jo: Oh no!



Eddie: Oh dear…
Jo: Eddie, it seems, has crashed that 720. Rocket power it too much power for that car to handle.



Eddie: Just a little error. Nothing too much. Anyway I still won that’s all what matters.



Jo: You cheated, Eddie.
Eddie: How did I?
Jo: You put rockets in the back of your car.
Eddie: Yes and the whole idea of this were to prove if anything could beat the Hunka 711.
Jo: Hm, true. I suppose that was a good idea. But your car, Eddie. Your 720, it’s wrecked!
Eddie: I hate to think so too, but I’ll get it repaired.



Jo: Anyway that’s pretty much all we’ve got time for, isn’t it Eddie?
Eddie: Yes, sadly. But don’t worry; we’ll see you next week for some more fun. Goodbye from me!
Jo: Goodbye from me as well. And I’m sure Nathan would say bye if he wasn’t sulking in the corner over the loss of that race. See you again next week.